I generally believe that even though I don’t watch much Sci-Fi, I probably would like most of it by nature of the fact that I am a scientist and (mostly) a nerd, and I can get on board with complex, scentifically sound ideas. So I figured this would be a good starting off point.

Let’s start here: I really like Nathan Fillion, I really do. I loved him in Two Guys, A Girl, and A Pizza Place (seriously) where he played Johnny. But whoever wrote his “accent,” you know, the one that pretends that this space captain who grew up on a farm has a hick twang, should be slapped around. Even Fillion couldn’t convincingly tell me we’re supposed to be believe that. Ditto for his female first mate, who threw in some extra verb-disagreement. I just couldn’t get past the strained dialogue.

Also, the plot left me clueless. I didn’t know what the plot was going in – I just knew it was based on Firefly. But the idea that I was supposed to understand that some of the creatures ate humans; the thought that the kung fu/gun combo seemed natural to all characters; the concept of the skinny girl as the sole engineer in the galumphing spaceship trying not to be so cliche, it just didn’t work.

This movie was made for fans of the show, not for the rest of us. So yeah, as Malcom Reynolds might say, “I reckon I willn’t be watchin’ this show.”