Giving Microsoft, IIS, and PHP.exe the benefit of the doubt, I decided to try installing WordPress on Windows via Microsoft’s new Web Application Gallery. The install is simple and straightforward: install MySQL, go to the web app gallery, click on the download, choose what you want, poof! Done.
I got the first few steps knocked out, I selected WordPress, gave it my MySQL username and password, and let it go. It installed PHP for Windows, the MySQL connector, and WordPress. Then I launched my browser and pointed to http://localhost:81 and… no. Error 402. I monkeyed with the site in IIS and was able to generate an error that simply says: Parameter not found.
PHP is installed. IIS assicates .php files with PHP.exe. But WordPress no worky.