The Precariousness of Covering the Beatles

Having had a chance to reflect on Tuesday’s American Idol Top 12 performances, featuring music from the Lennon/McCartney songbook, I feel I can now properly and more accurately express myself. The Beatles are likely the most covered band of all time. But for some reason, some covers just work and others just don’t.

Take, for example, Katharine “Kat” McPhee’s take on George Harrison’s Abbey Road masterpiece, “Something.” No doubt McPhee can sing, she can actually hold a note in tune longer than most the “most talented top 12 evar!” But the song was scary bad. Why? First of all, she committed the cardinal sin of adding her own lyrics to a Beatles by closing the song with “…it’s in the way he moves” over the song’s signature lick. Secondly, she changed “she” to “he,” which is another no-no. And lastly, she kept the song mostly the same while changing some of the intonations punching different syllables. In a package, it was painful.

On the other hand, Ramiele Malubay’s take on “In My Life,” universally panned as “boring” was actually a nice, albeit unadventurous and sleepy. It was unintrusive. Compare that to David Hernandez, whose run-infused, manic take on “I Saw Her Standing There” was anything but vanilla – it actually hurt my ears to hear it. Kristy Lee Cook – aka “Wide Stance” – took on 8 Days a Week in a manner I thought might have suited the song well if the particular arrangement wasn’t so frenetic. In exchange for the disasterous tempo and insane over-country-tude, she delivered a performance so embrassing that YouTube ought to ban it as “offensive.” The only redeeming quality was that she let the song end with its signature guitar outro instead of assaulting that piece too.

David Cook’s “Eleanor Rigby” – no doubt slightly flavored by the version by Thrice – was inspiring. Much like his masterful redux of Lionel Ritchie’s “Hello,” it was a mostly fresh and experimental take on a song, done in a different light. Likewise, Chikezie’s interesting take on “She’s a Women” was a blast, and really let him shine as an artist.

Elsewhere in the crowd, Carly Smithson showed again that she really can sing like Ann Wilson with her caffeine-infused version of “Come Together” and Syesha Mercado gave us an uneventful performance of “Got To Get You Into My Life” that committed no crime other than being forgettable. Meanwhile, Jason Castro’s understated “I Feel Fine” was solid enough to remind us it’s a great song, but not astound.

What do we see? Someone who tries to stylize a Beatles song as is will never do it justice. It’s either you add your own layer or it flops, because no artisrt will ever do it better than the Beatles, if only because the Beatles version is the definitive version stuck in everyone’s head. Doing a Beatles song as they did it with only minor variation will never bring you success. In the case of Malubay, it led to a dreary take of a great song. In the case of Hernandez, it led to his ouster. But with Cook and Chikezie, the rearrangements led to universal praise.

Covering the Beatles is one of those operations that can go either way. A re-envisioning of a song is often rewarded (D. Cook), but not always (K.L. Cook). A simple recreation can be successful (Castro, Smithson) or sleep-inducing (Malubay, Mercado).

No doubt that a live concert is a great place to recreate some Beatles magic – in front of fans and crowds. But when it comes to impressing on a mass scale, your best bet is to leave Beatles songs in someone else’s head – I promise, they’re almost always better there than your version will be.

Dumbest Ebay Auction Ever?

This may well be the dumbest eBay auction ever (link available… while it lasts). I mean, who hasn’t wanted to own a strawberry shaped like the United States… well… kinda… if you squint your eyes and just imagine it a little bit, you can almost sorta see it… a little.

Ebay
Click the image for a full size version

Here is the text of the auction:

AMERICA ROCKS!

This delicious and amazing strawberry is shaped like the USA! How totally cool is that? Show your love for our country and bid on this one of a kind berry! A must for any serious collector of fruits and veggies in a unique shape. A perfect gift for that special someone who has everything already!

I pledge to donate 25% of the proceeds of this sale to chairity (sic) – most likely I will donate to the one laptop per child foundation. even if you dont bid, google this charity and help them out… pretty cool idea for a charity. (I am not affiliated with them at all)

This is the most amazing strawberry ever to be found.

The strawberry has been immediately wrapped up and frozen in a freezer inside a deep freeze bowl at an undisclosed location.

I will ship this to the buyer in dry ice to ensure quality.

it is red & white and has a tiny green leaf

no returns … all sales final

Trackback Spam Gateway

It’s over. My referrer experiment is over… at least, in its current form. Today, I roll out firsttube.com referrer gateway version 1.0. That makes it sound fancy, but it’s not. Basically, it’s PHP to prevent trackback spam.

Traffic at firsttube.com has grown steadily, for some reason, and the logs reveal it: we get a TON of traffic from search engines, and the most popular terms are surprising – sensitive readers beware – here are the terms that most frequently drive people here:

cumtube, red-tube, uporn, adult youtube, milf, gay tube, tube 8 and many more equally odd terms.

You know why? Because, in a shrewd move that search engines seem to love, I display links back to my referrers, thinking they are trackbacks. But when it’s not from Google, Yahoo, Live.com, or OSNews, it’s most often spam. Why? Because not only are we using the name “tube” in our title, but with each erroneous entry, we tell the search engine it’s a good thing by back-linking to that search. In short, I’m perpetuating the problem. As a result, dozens of spammers have begun issuing basic GET requests in the hundreds placing their sites in my referrer lists.

Some time ago, I began the battle by adding rel=”nofollow” to all outgoing links not added via the admin section. But alas, that wasn’t good enough, the spammer didn’t care, so I implemented a pre-check, whereby referrers are, via regular expressions, matched against a list of known crap. As of today, there are 36 terms that I actively filter. In time, this will be performance intensive, if it isn’t already.

Thus, a gateway. Now, *all* referring traffic goes into a temp table, and each entry must be approved. I wrote a nice tool to batch import, batch delete, or even approve based on certain filters, such as domain or term. As it matures and I get an idea of time, I will “whitelist” certain domains that can immediately post to the referrer table. In the meantime, I need to decide if I want to filter referrers with obscene unrelated terms or just leave them and let the magic run its course; after all, these are not “spam,” they are simply organic mistakes. An argument could be made that it’s interesting, and therefore, mostly the reason to post referrers, to see what terms and sites around the internet drive traffic to a site.

Anyway, spammers, take note: I gotcher number! Stop referrer spamming me! That means you , you stupid lyrics sites!

The Facebook Logo Has Gone Into Hiding

It was reported by several sources this week that after an embarassing affair with a prostitute, the Facebook logo has gone into hiding. Actually, what has been happening for me is that the Facebook logo has been randomly disappearing for me in my browser. In fact, most days, lately, in Opera 9.26, this is what I see:

Facebook

When I dug around, I found the Facebook logo actually has the “on” and “off” image in one file and uses a CSS and “hover” trick to create the little home icon next to the logo. Neat.

Has anyone else experienced the mystery of the disappearing Facebook logo? Other Opera users maybe?

Acid 3 on Webkit Nightly

The Acid 2 test has, for a few years now, been the de facto test for your browser’s CSS capabilities. The Acid test, fewer people know, is not really about conforming to standards – passing it does not make your browser standards compliant or complete, so it’s best to understand that all it really means is that it properly handles the elements tested as well as certain errors properly. Sometime in 2005, Safari passed Acid 2, becoming the first mainline browser so earn that honor. A few years later, the current or development versions of all major browsers – including Firefox 3, IE8, Opera 9.5 – all pass the Acid 2 test.

Enter Acid 3. Acid 3 measure even more goodness, including these six “buckets”:

  • Bucket 1: DOM Traversal, DOM Range, HTTP
  • Bucket 2: DOM2 Core and DOM2 Events
  • Bucket 3: DOM2 Views, DOM2 Style, CSS 3 selectors and Media Queries
  • Bucket 4: Behavior of HTML tables and forms when manipulated by script and DOM2 HTML
  • Bucket 5: Tests from the Acid3 Competition (SVG,[5] HTML, SMIL, Unicode…)
  • Bucket 6: ECMAScript

Using recent browsers, everything fails pretty spectacularly. My Opera 9.26 install gets a 42/100. Safari (including iPhone) does 39/100. IE7 does 12/100, Firefox 2 does the most respectable with 52/100. Even IE8 only does 17/100 while Firefox 3 tops out at 59/100 and Opera 9.5 at 60/100. The current generation, even the next generation of major browsers are still far from coming close to rendering Acid 3 with any accuracy.

I have been playing, now and again, with Webkit nightlies, since Webkit is actually a really neat engine, and guess what it kicks out? This:


Webkit nightly on Windows Vista

Pretty impressive. Safari is pretty limited when it comes to extending its function – it doesn’t even support a “new tab” button. But the webkit and javascript core engines are respectable both in rendering skill and speed.

Mac n Cheese From Scratch

As a many-decade-devotee of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Deluxe, aka “Kraft Dinner,” I have always hesitated to make my own Mac n’ Cheese. It’s hard to top what’s already damned close to perfect.

Turns out I was wrong. I modded a few recipes out there and ended up with a damned tasty dish. Jenn and I tore through 4 servings in 2 days, and last night I made another massive batch. 6 dudes ate 10 servings and 2 asked me for the recipe. Creamy mac and cheese, I now know, is overrated. Real baked and mac and cheese is light and cheesy and doesn’t leave you feeling like you just ate a brick. I’m still perfecting it, but when I think I have, I will post the recipe.


Mac n Cheese, originally uploaded by firsttubedotcom.

HAXX0RED

So, I updated firsttube.com to “revision 9″ on Friday, and when I went to show someone last night, imagine my surprise when I found the whole thing hosed. The site was missing entire chunks – random, non-sequential directories, missing entirely.

I’ll spare you the details: I got hacked. Someone either brute forced their way into the admin site (which is now pretty locked down, until I figure this all out) or brute forced into SSH and uploaded several malicious PHP scripts. They are scary, I actually have them intact in a backup from a few days ago. How much has been revealed? My MySQL passwords? It’s impossible to tell. Virtually everything will need scrubbing.

In the meantime, excuse any wonkiness until all is repaired. The good news is this finally forces me to finish work on the new administrative area I’ve been playing with.

Some Thoughts on LOST

Is it possible that Widmore is the developer of a large scale weapon (the black smoke) and that Benjamin Linus is not the enemy we all have envisioned, but rather, a wary do-gooder hippie type afraid that Widmore will destroy the island in the process? Could Ben be protecting the island? Is it possible that his secrecy is because he knows that anyone, anywhere, under any circumstance, could be a Widmore spy?

If Ben knew and understood the evil of Widmore, he might not trust ANY of the Losties. In fact, if this were the case, imagine the big reveal when we find out that one of our own is, and always has been, a Widmore spy! What if it were revealed that Bernard or Juliet or Sawyer was undercover the whole time? Better yet – Sun’s father has worked with Widmore, Jin works for him… could Jin be the one?

Ben seems to have some evil ways, but if he knew that someone intended to purge the island to resume development of the greatest weapon the world has ever known, he might be suspicious of everyone – even in his own camp before the crash of 815.

Here are some random mysteries that need further explanation: the 4 toed statue, Richard Alpert not aging, the Hostiles pre-Dharma, “The List,” Jacob, Walt, the Dharma project and all of its research, The Black Rock and why Widmore wanted it, who Alvar Hanso is, who Tovard Hanso is, who Magnus Hanso is, their connection to the island, how Lenny (the guy who shared the numbers with Hurley) got off the island how Libby factored into everyone’s life, why Kate says Aaron is her son, and about 200 others.

We’ve got a long way to go, but slowly, things are beginning to unravel.

The Third Great Platform

First, there was the PC.
Then, there was the web.
Now, there is the iPhone.

At long last, the iPhone will become what it was destined to be. In June, when the iPhone 2.0 update is released, the iPhone’s true potential will be unlocked. VoIP? Sure, why not!? Games? You betcha. Exchange, ActiveSync, Remote Wipe, 802.1X? Check. How about access to the entire SDK via XCode, a compact framework (Cocoa Touch), a native emulator, and access to the SQLite databases present in the iPhone file system? Yup. Lastly, how about the most innovative platform in the last 20 years that has single handedly made the mobile web viable? Present and accounted for.

In fact, the iPhone is a new generation, and it’s been grunting along the sidelines as a gloried browser. But come iPhone 2.0, it will validate itself as one of the most amazing devices out there.