Category Archives: Funny

Sold To Google

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Something happened today that I never expected in a million years. I am in contact with a few Google employees on Facebook and Twitter, and in the course of conversation, I shared an idea I once had about a PHP application. We talked it out, I coded the first tidbits, a friend helped with some Python, and, a few short weeks later, Google decided to buy it! But not just the code, this afternoon, we finalized the deal that includes them taking over the domain firsttube.com, since the code is currently running as a daemon on my server here. As a result, this will be one of my last blog posts. Effective tomorrow evening, the domain will transfer to Google and it will become the host for a new Google app (which I’m still hoping will be called “firsttube”). Also, by the end of the week, I will be a full tim Google employee, which is very exciting. For now, I’ll still be working and living in Florida.

Unfortunately, due to legal restrictions, I am unable to say any more, but trust me when I say that most of my friends will have immediate use for this site!

Check back tomorrow for the details!!

Updated: For those who missed it, April Fools!

Whose Clues? Blue’s Clues!

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Rarely does an entire day pass without me watching at least some span of the Noggin channel.  The host of Noggin, the animated Moose A. Moose, is my daughter’s favorite.  She’s gone through phases of enjoying Pinky Dinky Doo, The Backyardigans, and Jack’s Big Music Show, but she has been captivated by Moose since she was just 4 months old.   She also has shown a lot of interest in Dora the Explorer.  

Steve: Lame, But He Knows It

Steve: Lame, But He Knows It, Thus, Cool

Lately, due mostly to Noggin’s schedule change, she’s been watching a lot of Blue’s Clues.  At first, I hated this show.  It’s about as dumbed down as a show can get, at first glance.  But lately, I’ve been realizing something: I’ve picked up a lot of sign language in passing glances. 

Blue’s Clues is not that interesting.  As a show, it’s really basic, and not very interesting.  Unlike, say, Sponegbob Squarepants, where after 40 seconds, if the kid walks away, I watch the rest, Blue’s Clues is completely boring.  I’ll happily shut it off.  And yet, when she is watching, I love that she’s getting the sign.  

I have to admit that I like Steve much better than Joe.  Steve  was natural with sign language.  And he seemed genuine, if possible.  He was a normal dude, just chillin’ with his animated dog Blue, who apparently, would only communicate via elaborate clues to a master puzzle.  The whole thing was very normal, in an “I have an animated blue dog who leaves me clues to answer simple questions which I figure out whilst signing and then track in a notepad for future reference” kind of way.  

Steve was also a very routine oriented guy.  Same shirt, every day: none of this new-fangled several colors nonsense.  Also, he didn’t grin all the time like a complete tool. 

 

Joe: Thinks He's Cool, Is Actually D-Bag

Joe: Thinks He's Cool, Is Actually D-Bag

But Joe sucks.  Joe is always giving a stupid, goofy grin that deserves a slap.   Unlike Steve, who seemed generally laid back did a great job of hosting a kid’s show, Joe was a trying-too-hard pretty-boy who spent his time hosting Blue’s Clues living in Steve’s big shadow.  Aside from having a much more polished and “I wanna be an actor” finish, he was so effortful in his performance that it came off as both condescending and tiring.  His silly oversmiling and unnatural “side running” is so odd looking it leaves me wanting to take Steve out for a beer, just for not sucking so much.  

I think Joe is an actor thrilled to have a gig, trying so hard to be good at it, and yet, coming off as so desperate it makes me roll my eyes.  Every emotion is so overplayed I’m sure my 14 month old must mutter “What a sodding twit” under her breath. 

Either way, Blue’s Clues, despite being entirely blowsome as a TV show, is pretty decent as an education tool, largely due to the amount of ASL mushed into the show.  If your kid has to watch something, you could do a lot worse than Blue’s Clues, which is likely why a show that ran from the mid nineties through 2005 or so is still aired several times a day.

Hmmm…

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I’m a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight…..

If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you’re ‘exotic’ and ‘different.’

Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you’re an American story.

If your name is Barack you’re a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, and you’re a maverick.

Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.

Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, then you’re well- grounded.

If you spend 3 years as a community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, help register 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, 8 years as a State Senator of a district of   750,000 people, chair the state Senate’s Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people, sponsor 131 bills, and serve on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works, and Veteran’s Affairs committees, you don’t have any real leadership experience.

If your resume is:  local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town of 7,000 people, 2 years as governor of a state of 650,000 people, you’re qualified to be a heartbeat away from the presidency.

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 daughters, all within Protestant churches,  you’re not a real Christian.

If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, left your ill wife, and married the heiress the next month, you’re a Christian.

If you teach responsible, age-appropriate sex education, including the use of birth control, you erode the fiber of American society.

If you staunchly advocate abstinence-only education, while your teen daughter ends up pregnant, you’re responsible.

If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, you don’t represent America’s family values.

If your husband is called ‘First Dude’, has a DWI conviction, didn’t register to vote until 25, and was a member of a group that advocated secession of Alaska from the USA, yours is the quintessential American family.

And, finally, if you’re famous for your quick temper, you’re the one to have your finger on the red nuclear button.

OK, much clearer now.

I’m not sure the source of this, but it sure makes an interesting read.