Category Archives: Funny

Dragon Dictation

Dragon Dictation for the iPhone is spectacular.  It works so well it constantly amazes me.  Even when I dictated my wife’s name – Jenn – it suggested “Jenn” as a possible alternative for “Jen.”  It frequently gets what I say right the first time, and often catches the wrong words in the tap-to-correct mode when it makes a mistake.

So I decided to sing into it and give it a run for its money.  I was singing Trey Anastasio’s “Host Across the Potomac,” whose chorus is “The time has come for desks and chairs to be elevated.”  I sang the line several times, annunciating a bit more with each line, and here are the results:

  • The time has come for desk send JS to be a little David
  • The time has come by best chance to be added day babe
  • The time has come for dad send chance to be added day again
  • The time has come for desk and chairs to be inundated

Gotta love it; four times sung, four totally different results.

The moral of the story is: Dragon is great for dictation, but not so much for transcribing singing.

Megan Fox Analyzes Her Farts

megan foxI swear, while the entire world is obsessed with Megan Fox, I still don’t get it.  She’s just not my type.  I admit, she’s nice to look at, but she’s certainly no better than at least 25 women I can name off the top of my head.

But she got marginally cooler when I found this Megan Fox quote:

“If you eat Chinese food, your farts come out like Chinese food. If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out like Mexican food. And milk, it’s like—you can smell the warmth in the fart. My wardrobe on Transformers always smells like farts, and I have no idea why.”

I’m not kidding.

The Hard Way

After trying to figure out why my photos all had a small black semi-circle at the bottom, I learned the hard way: you have to remove your lens hood when you’re using a flash.

When you don’t, as you can easily see, the flash is blocked from lighting the bottom of your frame, and you end up with not a black semi-circle, but rather, a shadow.

It only took about a hundred pictures before I finally deciphered this simple bit.  In the process, I removed my polarizer, changed my focus, and even tried the lens hood upside down.

I also figured out that while shooting in manual mode is fun, it’s almost impossible to quickly go from well lit to medium lit to dark without a lot of practice. I shot a small event (my sister’s wedding shower) as a favor, and it took about 10 minutes for me to surrender and shoot entirely in auto.

Bristol Palin Now Aboard Abstinence Bandwagon

Bristol Palin Now Aboard Abstinence Bandwagon – E! Online

I wish I had the chance to interview Ms Bristol Palin.  As a newly crowned abstinence spokesperson, I’d love to ask her “So, are you saying that you wish you had waited to have sex and that having your baby was a mistake?”

Faced with this question, she has two outs: “No, it was right for me, but it’s wrong for you” or “Yes, I wish my kid was never born.”  It’s lose/lose, isn’t it?

Someone from my work thinks she’d play the religious right card and explain that “the Lord” put the challenge to her so that she would be able to share her experience and prevent further problems.  In short, according to him, “she’d find a way to blame God for it.”  By that rationale, is it fair for me to say “How about I smoke all the weed and then tell you all how bad it is?”