Category Archives: Entertainment

Lost Theory: I See Dead People

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This is my first stab at a basic Lost theory.  I’ve had some other ideas before (such as the Jughead bomb being buried beneath the Swan, the code is there to exhaust the radiation, the concrete it insolation), but I think this one, though far-fetched today, has some basic ideas that could explain a lot.  

I think Locke is dead.  He died back in LA, and his body was transported back to the island.  Due to the “unique electromagnetic properties” of the island, his consciousness is able to manifest as “real” on the island, but make no mistake: he’s dead, and can never leave.

So is Christian.  It was fortunate that his body was taken to the island, because there, he has re-manifested.  

So is Juliet.  She can’t leave.  Ben wouldn’t let her leave for years.  She naively believes she’s being held prisoner, but ultimately, she cannot leave the island, because outside of the island, she is dead.  How did she die? I’m not sure, but one possibility is that she was poisoned. She did drink something before the Mittlos Bioscience team – the ‘Others’ – took her to the island.  They explained it made the journey easier, but it certainly didn’t look like they needed it. Perhaps they killed her and then she ‘woke up’ when she was within reach of the island.  

So is Rose.  She had terminal cancer.  But here on the island, she’s just fine.  Leads me to believe that her body has been reanimated.

So is Jin.  He was killed in the freighter explosion.  But when his body washed ashore, he was brought back to life by the island.  

Four Toed Statue…And so is Penny.  Ben killed her before he took the O6 back, as he promised Widmore he would.  How else will Desmond ever be coaxed to return to the island? Why, the promise of resurrecting Penny, of course!  Mrs. Hawking told him the island wasn’t done with him, he was just too short-sighted to see why.

The above does pose a few questions: 

Firstly, who else is dead? Surely, if we can spot some of the dead, other people are also dead.

How is Jacob connected to this? Is Jacob dead? Is Jacob the spirit inhabiting those bodies? Is Jacob merely the first one to die and “come back to life?” 

How come only some people “come back to life?” My first though was that one can only come back if he dies OFF of the island.  But then I considered that Mikhail might also be one of the dead ones, and he died in the sonic fence.  But then he appeared again later, very much alive.  He died on the island.  

Why would the Others have to poison Juliet at all?  Perhaps there’s some benefit to being dead and reanimated on the island? 

A few other dead people have appeared on or around the island: Hurley’s friend Dave, Yemi, Ana Lucia, Libby, Horace, etc – all appeared after their “death.”  Were they actually there in consciousness? Or was that just the the smoke monster playing tricks, as many have theorized?  

Shows That Should Be Canceled

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I watch a few TV shows that are in desperate need of a kick in the ass.  Let’s review:

Heroes has, for some time now, sucked.  Long ago, the writers decided to give up on character consistency, and they decided that they would have the characters stop on a dime and act completely contrary to their previous actions.  Case in point: Nathan, who quickly turned on his fellow mutants and now wants Peter dead, apparently.  I can’t even get into Heroes other than to say it’s such a mess it really should be canceled altogether.

Kyle XY is a show I started watching when I was a sick a few years ago, and I kept on for the mystery.  The problem is: the writers revealed too much too soon, and when the basic mysteries were solved, the second season introduced a worthless character, Jesse XX, as a plot device.  Then the plot become bigger as they introduced “Adam Baylin”, and explained a backstory to Zzyzx.  When that concluded, we learned that Madacorp was behind it all.  When that was done, we learned that it was actually “Latnok” was behind it all.  In other words, the lazy writers just keep making up more complex backstory as they go.  I hate to be a broken record, but compare this to LOST, where a clear vision in the first place prevented sloppy cut-and-go storytelling that leaves everyone confused. The good news is, this show was canceled, so hopefully they can conclude it nicely and wrap everything up cleanly.

Grey’s Anatomy, an interesting show in season 1, has gotten worse with age.  Each season has been less intriguing and more annoying.  Every single character sounds like Shonda Rhymes now, they all have the same affectational pitter-patter sing-song intonation.  I hate Izzie, who was once interesting.  I hate George, who has become an extra.  I hate Bailey, who vascillates between a professional and over-attached.  I hate Meredith, who is whiny.  I hate Cristina, who is a cold bitch.  I hate Callie, who whines and made the fastest jump to Lesbianism ever.  I hate the Chief, who is a total pushover.  Actually, I like little Grey, Shephard, and Sloan, and I’m learning to like Dr Arizona, but mostly because she’s kinda hot.   Either way, this show jumped the shark long ago, and I wish they’d put it to sleep.

Prison Break has introduced more plot twists than any show ever in history, but once you get used to it, it’s kinda fun.  However, it’s carried on for 4 seasons now, far longer than the concept of a “prison break” should have permitted.  I am glad they pulled the plug on this, not because it’s not fun, but because some premises simply can’t sustain forever.

On a lighter note, I originally had called “Fringe” a disappointment, but I must say, I’m feeling good about it lately.  It’s interesting, the characters are getting to be consistent and interesting, and the overall storyline is shaping up like the X Files: small mystery solved each week, large mystery gets more complex.  I hope this show gets even more time to bloom.

Recap of Heroes “Villians”

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Well, the third major arc of Heroes, entitled “Villians,” has come to a close.   I’ve discussed Heroes before, and, except in Volume 1, been pretty disappointed.  So now that we’re begun Volume 4, “Fugitives,” how do I feel? To put it bluntly, Heroes sucks worse than ever, and yet, I’m still watching it. 

Heroes is a brilliant concept executed as poorly as possible.  It’s of of the worst written, poorest plot-bearing, illest planned, silliest scripted series ever to grace Sci Fi.  Everything about Heroes stinks except the actors and the core concept.  The rest blows.  Let’s examine:

1. Firstly, we’ve got a science problem  

The science of Heroes is always screwy.  Some might argue that there must be a certain suspension of disbelief with science fiction, and I’d agree.  We suspend disbelief about the fact that there, for example, is space travel in Star Trek, but we expect the writers to follow the known laws of physics in space.  We expect the ship to be sound.  And we expect that when the rules are bent, there’s a reasonable and semi-believable explanation.   With Heroes, we have a day long eclipse that occurs everywhere at once.  We have someone who can run REALLY fast who can apparently bring anyone with her at the same speed.  If you can fly, you can apparently lift anything through flight.  

2. Second, we’ve got a motivation problem

A “volume,” which runs about half a season, takes 13-16 weeks to unfold.  But it occurs in much less time for the characters.  And yet, they go through major emotional changes in a short span.  Just look at Sylar.  He went from villian to man seearching for redemption to soon-to-be loving father to angry to ruthless villian in the span of this story.   Why would he change so quickly? His actions make no sense.  Going from “No, Sylar, I *am* your mother” to ‘I’m working for Dad’ to ‘I’m going to kill Angela’ was too rocky and didn’t give the character time to understand his own actions or emotions.   Let’s not even get started on Mohinder, who makes no sense at all, or Angela, or worst of all, Arthur, who could have avoided this entire series by simply making Nathan not investigate Linderman in the first place, which means no need for Angela to kill him, which means no revenge, which means no Pinehurst, which means no Nathan vs. Peter.  Which leads me to…

3. We’ve got a logic problem

Aside from things like “Why is Sylar changing his motivations so quickly?” there are much bigger logic flaws, like for example, ”Why does Clair hate her father one minute but then love him the next ALL SEASON LONG?” Sorry, but this is central to the show.  The Bennetts – Clair and Noah- are core characters.  So making their emotions so whimsy is not just a character motivation problem, but rather a major logic flaw.  These characters are inconsistent.  Is Clair a cheerleader, a kid, or a company warrior? How can someone work for this elite “Company” with no real training other than smacking a stick around for a few minutes? Why does Clair – and Noah – think  that regeneration abilities makes someone a natural for fighting this huge “war”? 

4. We’ve got plot problems

What was the point of the eclipse? Why did they make a big deal about the catalyst if it was resolved so readily? Where would the catalyst gone had Hiro not shown up to take it?  Why did Parkman have to have the spirit walk? What about HIro? These things were required for nothing other than killing time.  There was barely anything happening this arc.  When you introduce information and plot points that have no real value to the story, it’s your first clue that your writers are in over their heads.  Suckage. 

5. Lastly, we’ve got a concept problem

This concept is so brilliant, the idea of following “specials” around.  But the implementation is flawed, because you’ve decided to commit to your cast.  This concept would have been awesome if, as we followed each volume, we moved to new, interesting characters.  A built in reboot every half season.  But unfortunately, now this show is like any other serialized drama, and I don’t trust it.  I don’t believe Sylar is dead.   I don’t believe Arthur is dead.  I didn’t believe Hiro was stuck in the past, I don’t believe we’ve seen the last of Hiro’s dad.  I don’t know if I believe Meredith is dead.  Elle might be dead, but she was always peripheral.   So nothing is believable, and I’m not ready to be burned again.  

Yeah, I’ll end up watching volume 4, but not because it’s a good show.  Because no one can turn away from a good train wreck.

Whose Clues? Blue’s Clues!

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Rarely does an entire day pass without me watching at least some span of the Noggin channel.  The host of Noggin, the animated Moose A. Moose, is my daughter’s favorite.  She’s gone through phases of enjoying Pinky Dinky Doo, The Backyardigans, and Jack’s Big Music Show, but she has been captivated by Moose since she was just 4 months old.   She also has shown a lot of interest in Dora the Explorer.  

Steve: Lame, But He Knows It

Steve: Lame, But He Knows It, Thus, Cool

Lately, due mostly to Noggin’s schedule change, she’s been watching a lot of Blue’s Clues.  At first, I hated this show.  It’s about as dumbed down as a show can get, at first glance.  But lately, I’ve been realizing something: I’ve picked up a lot of sign language in passing glances. 

Blue’s Clues is not that interesting.  As a show, it’s really basic, and not very interesting.  Unlike, say, Sponegbob Squarepants, where after 40 seconds, if the kid walks away, I watch the rest, Blue’s Clues is completely boring.  I’ll happily shut it off.  And yet, when she is watching, I love that she’s getting the sign.  

I have to admit that I like Steve much better than Joe.  Steve  was natural with sign language.  And he seemed genuine, if possible.  He was a normal dude, just chillin’ with his animated dog Blue, who apparently, would only communicate via elaborate clues to a master puzzle.  The whole thing was very normal, in an “I have an animated blue dog who leaves me clues to answer simple questions which I figure out whilst signing and then track in a notepad for future reference” kind of way.  

Steve was also a very routine oriented guy.  Same shirt, every day: none of this new-fangled several colors nonsense.  Also, he didn’t grin all the time like a complete tool. 

 

Joe: Thinks He's Cool, Is Actually D-Bag

Joe: Thinks He's Cool, Is Actually D-Bag

But Joe sucks.  Joe is always giving a stupid, goofy grin that deserves a slap.   Unlike Steve, who seemed generally laid back did a great job of hosting a kid’s show, Joe was a trying-too-hard pretty-boy who spent his time hosting Blue’s Clues living in Steve’s big shadow.  Aside from having a much more polished and “I wanna be an actor” finish, he was so effortful in his performance that it came off as both condescending and tiring.  His silly oversmiling and unnatural “side running” is so odd looking it leaves me wanting to take Steve out for a beer, just for not sucking so much.  

I think Joe is an actor thrilled to have a gig, trying so hard to be good at it, and yet, coming off as so desperate it makes me roll my eyes.  Every emotion is so overplayed I’m sure my 14 month old must mutter “What a sodding twit” under her breath. 

Either way, Blue’s Clues, despite being entirely blowsome as a TV show, is pretty decent as an education tool, largely due to the amount of ASL mushed into the show.  If your kid has to watch something, you could do a lot worse than Blue’s Clues, which is likely why a show that ran from the mid nineties through 2005 or so is still aired several times a day.

Dr House: Is A Change is a’Comin?

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Last night’s episode of House, M.D. made little sense.  Why would Dr. House, near the end of the show, give the patient back his gun? Why not just diagnose him but say he has the gun? Then something interesting happened.  The guy almost killed Thirteen, and for a moment, House looked stunned.  And I thought, “Oh God, please let this be it.”  

What is it? It is the moment I’ve been waiting for.  The moment when House realizes his inane behavior is getting unrealistic and unbearable.  The House character is getting boring to me because he shows no growth whatsoever, never learns any lessons.  He’s just a miserable old sack. And the show was losing steam, until last night, because it’s become so formulaic that Cracked magazine took a well-deserved swing at it.  

So, I’m hoping that last night, as the SWAT team blew away the walls of the CAT scan room and House, for a moment, was unsure whether or not his plan had backfired; as House began to understand that his silly actions may have led to Thirteen’s unnecessary death; as House suddenly understood (I think) that he had behaved like an idiot, that maybe we have the catalyst for the first real growth of the character.  I wish – I wish so much – that perhaps the character would show some emotional reaction to the fact that he endangered not just others’ lives, but others’ lives quite recklessly.  

House shouldn’t suddenly become a softie, and he shouldn’t suddenly be a new character, but the same way you drive a little slower for awhile after you think you might be getting a ticket when you pass a cop, he ought to have a little bit of extra thought about his actions, a pause before acting like the cold moron he normally is.  Because any human would, after an event like that.     

Unfortunately, I don’t expect it.  I think next Tuesday will open credits on the same old House.  Too bad.

Heroes Verdict: Meh

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Not too long ago, I said “Heroes has replaced LOST as my #1, mostly because the plot advances comfortably.” I’ve blogged about Heroes in the past, too. But now, comfortably into the realm of the show, I can safely say that Heroes is the poor man’s sci-fi. Heroes is ill-thought out from the get go. As my friend Eugenia has said before, the writers made the Heroes too powerful up front, and as a result, the storylines are seeking to limit them where possible, and just flat out ignoring them at worst.

Firstly, Peter, Sylar, and Parkman’s dad, at a minimum are all extremely powerful, yet none of them really “use” their powers, even when it would make sense.  Sylar, for example, didn’t hear something whispered just 20 yards from him, yet it was explained in season 1 that he had super-hearing. Hiro makes the dumbest mistakes in the world, and doesn’t use his power to fix them (like going back in time to just not open the safe, or better yet, putting a fake version in his hand before Daphne swiped it.)

The entire story arc often feels like a bunch of ninth graders writing a “wouldn’t it be cool if” story, without really laying out the entire storyline.  Peter is impetuous and rarely thinks before acting – not in a realistic way, but in an “it’s a good plot device” kind of way.  Nathan’s family just… evaporated.  Hiro digs up Adam Monroe rather than just zapping him out of the coffin, which, by the way, is how he got him in there.

The truth is, the massive cast, which includes useless Mohinder, pointless Maya,  and  wants-to-be-interesting-but-just-isn’t Parkman needs to be trimmed down.  And why ignore cool characters like The Haitian? The last truly great episode was “Company Man” in season 1.

Although I’ll still watch it for now, Heroes is just, sadly, not that good of a serialized drama.

First Impressions: Fringe

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Last night was episode 2 of the highly anticipated new series, “Fringe.” I had been looking forward to Fringe for some time with only one reservation: I was hesitant to get into another serialized marathon like Lost or Heroes. But it was so compelling in its ads that I decided to give it a shot.

Last week’s pilot episode set up a great premise.  The “translucent” body effect and the mystical “Pattern,” complemented by stone cold Matthew Abadon Agent Broyles left me wanting more.  I suspect the second episode was much more indicative, however, of what this show will actually be.   Read more after the break.

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